Long Night

10:43 PM. I decided not to communicate with you and I'm happy with the result... or I guess, quite happy. Today, I have spent the day without you affecting much of my daily routine except for some occasional glances at my phone. I cannot deny the fact that somehow you've left a void in my heart.


Tonight, I feel empty. Now alone, while everybody is asleep, I can't help but think of you. Wondering if you're okay, wanting to know how your day was, just thinking even the trivial and minute details as long as its about you. I can't sleep because I'm waiting for you to say goodnight at least. You would've sent me a message by this time... I guess this is what I get for trying to suppress my feelings towards you. But I have expressed it once already! Is it not enough? Truth is, I'm the one falling for you. This is a one-way street. I'm left hanging in the air. Yeah right, that's because of me assuming and expecting too much of what is real, of what is not. Its sad, so sad. Truth hurts and I have to accept it.

Can somebody just rip me off? Tore me apart! I wanna be numb... I wanna get wasted! Hah! Escaping reality again.

I just can't help ending a day without you...

Behind the hustle and bustle of life and the temporary happiness that's making me forget you, I still long to be with you. Pink is right, YOU'RE JUST LIKE A PILL, instead of getting me better, you're making me ill.

I still can't sleep. But I have to stop writing, otherwise it's gonna be a long night...

*4th journal entry.