My Father's Lullaby

Be not afraid father
I’ve seen you carry the world
Traveled the distance robust and bold
Be brave.

Be not afraid father
These pains are fleeting
As compared to life that is everlasting
Be brave.

Be not afraid father
Rest your tired body
And I will sleep with you with leaves of holly
Be brave.

Be not afraid father
I can see you’re a fighter
But for now you have to rest and lay your banner
Be brave.

Be not afraid father
I’m singing a lullaby
I will lull you to sleep ‘til you say goodbye.
Be brave.

Hush now my father. Be brave.

Ode to my Father

By this time I think you know
We have loved you of depth unknown.
With your days unheard and your time falter
Remember with our Father you are safe and sheltered.

If time won’t grant us moments we desire
We will live in the memory everybody admires
We will let our tears fall on that noble day
When you will wait for us in heaven with gay.

No words can express how much we love you
You have been our mentor, our friend our father
And I pray to God when you see the day coming
Be not afraid our dear Father is waiting.

Precious time you have shared with us
It will be cherished and surely it will last
To northern skies soon we will meet
Where summer is there and life is sweet.

Rest now my father and not be weary
I have shouldered the task and I’m willing to carry
Leave us in joy and in peace you will be
For gladly I will carry you dreams and legacy.

Keeping the Faith

I keep singing the same song.
I keep writing the same poem.
Forlorn, I’ve been sitting here
Whilst my thoughts somewhere wander.

I’m keeping the faith.
It’s not yet late.

A sun’s rays in the horizon.
Early in the morn.
Dawning.
Fading sun beams in the afternoon.
Dusk.
Either way
I have to know
Either way
I should learn to let go.

I’m keeping the faith.
It’s not too late.

Wooden Chair

I’ve been sitting here in this wooden chair
Not knowing what time have come to pass
On to the walls I have blankly stared
No thoughts, no words my mind can cast.

Why in this wooden chair I do keep sitting
When most of the time I gain nothing
Ah, perhaps an answer that I’ve been looking
‘til eternity I will be searching.

In these string of thoughts can an answer be found?
In these sweet sadness will a trumpet sound?
With this direness that hunts like a hound
Will I be spared as I shout out loud.

Still on wooden chair, of sundry things I think
No words on paper, nor stains of ink
Be that as it may, this green valley I know
Will only be a dream ‘til my sun is low.

This wooden chair, splattered in green
Have sheltered me from tears that could’ve been
Shared with my joys and witnessed the pain
Carried me sturdily ‘til my strength regains.

Now as I sit on this wooden chair
It carried me through my moment of despair
As my mind wanders into nothingness
It slowly eases my pain and sadness

Everything in Seven Hours

10:30 PM, 21 January
It’s a quarter to eight in the evening and I am having a chat with a good friend of mine. I needed a company and she is the closest person that can possibly meet me tonight. Otherwise, I will wander around the streets of Bacolod with my mind wandering into the realm of illusions trying to seek refuge and gain strength. I never wanted to share things with her (not that I don’t trust her), I just want her to be beside me or in front of me. Just like that. It eases the dire feeling away. Im glad she came over. And so we had a talk which I end up right away for I know I will not be able to finish what I will be saying since tears will fall, tearing down my defenses.

But I want to finish the story I started...
Not to tell the world about it, but to keep me posted on the ground.

Early this afternoon, I went home before office-hour ends because I have to bring my Dad to the hospital for his check-up. Everything was just fine. Really fine. My Mom and my sister already know the situation of my Dad’s illness except him. Lung cancer. Suddenly, I felt an air of difference on our way home. I smelled the tang of soil while inside the taxi and I kept on searching to find out where it came from but to no avail. When we arrived home, my father had lots of demands, he wants his oxygen tank placed this way, he wants his meds in the nebulizer, and this and that and I felt tired. On my way to buy some medicines, my Aunt (my dad’s older sister) went with me and we had a talk. Talks about where to bury his body when my dad is dead and the like/ This with the fact that they’ll (my father’s sisters) be going home (to Antique) early morning tomorrow contribute to the growing ill-feeling I have inside me that suddenly I just wanted to be in place so serene to clean my mind of all these thoughts.

I remembered everything that another friend of mine told me about cancer patients. (Her Dad died of cancer too.)
1. Take good care of him as if it will be his last hour on earth.
2. Give everything he desires as it may benefit him.
3. Love, nothing can be more valuable than this.

And I am waiting for the day/s when he would:
1. Make us all happy.
2. Know what his illness is and his last few days.
3. Make his last words

For that would signal us that he will leave us soon...

I arrived home tonight with the spirit of sadness surrounding our home while everyone tries to put a smile in their teary face...

It’s 11:15 PM now and I just finished writing this and the poem Wooden Chair. Then I would turn off the laptop, wash the tears away and go to sleep. Tomorrow is another story...

Can You?

Can you blame me?
For wishing you were in sight
Being the reason I’m always in a fight
Tell me.

Can you teach me?
To forget about everything
When I’ve learned to keep you in
Save me.

Can you spare me?
From the pain of loving you
From the joy of losing you
Help me.

Will you love me?
When your world is with him still
And I’m nothing but a sting that kills
Can you?

Where The Grass Is Green

Oh field of greens and bounties
Come fill my cup that's empty
Let the sweet aroma of your green grasses
Fill my lungs and sooth my senses.

Let the cool breeze touch my skin
Lay me to sleep, let dream begin
Take me out of this cold place
And let the sun's rays warm my face.

Let your skies of white and blue
Take me away and leave no clue
To a place safe, cozy and warm
Far from thunder and lightning's churn.

Let your crystal waters flow
Wash away the pain and sorrow
Remove the stains and stinking smell
Refresh my spirit, my strength as well.

Come to me now, oh dear sweet valley
Come fill my cup with thy bounty
Restore unto me my precious glory
Just like a flower blossoming in beauty.