Im’ writing a poem
about you
for you
but I couldn’t finish it
so much thoughts
so much words
so much emotions
and I could not encapsulate it
you are so much to own
yet I don’t want to lose
you’re far but near
you’re this and that
and yes,
the right kind of wrong
histrionic
eccentric
but easy to love
such are the words
now I’m afraid,
afraid of falling
when I know
that you’re something I could not hold on to
no, not even forever.
I have not written anything lately. I don't know why, I guess I'm not as inspired as I was before. I feel like if I write something it would be the same old boring rhymes. (which in fact is true for me)
The past month was a busy one and that maybe is the reason why I only have an entry for the month or being busy is my way of trying to get things out of my mind? I really don't know...
But I'm gonna have a fresh start. New look, new beginning. And hopefully, new way of writing. As Winston Churchill says and I quote: "Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning".
There are always things in life that we can never hold on to forever. Mostly, they are passing. They belong to a past that shapes our future. If it didn't happen, if it's the other way around, what would we be now?
If the things in the past bring good memories, be thankful. If not, it is still worth keeping. Our past teaches us what to do presently in order to brighten our future. Seize each moment. Beginnings always come to an end, but in every ending comes a new beginning...
Like a bolt of lightning that crashes
Like a chain of thunder humming
Your word pierces and smashes
Inside a numbed heart, fumbling.
The dice have been thrown
I’m left on my own
The words have been said
Memories are left to mend.
You said it plainly like it was nothing
I smiled back as if you’re jesting
Then you left,
And inside me sadness slowly crept
What have I done?
Did I do something wrong?
These questions hovered
As I looked for answers.
Now, I’m alone again
trapped in the abyss of my storming emotions
left with questions that seems to have no solutions
which I have to face
on my own.
The dice have been thrown
I’m left on my own
The words have been said
Memories are left to mend.
Today is my first birthday I am celebrating without Papa. It's sad for I know ten days after we're going to celebrate his without him. Nevertheless, we will cherish the memories of him and everything about him with hope that we will see each other in heaven soon. I miss Papa so much! :-)
When I entered my office, I was surprised with the graffiti I saw on the whiteboard. These made me smile for thoughts are more precious and cherished. These make me feel loved...
And when I sat on my table... I saw this small note taken from my very own notepad! 
Yesterday, my neighbors, the Guidance and the MOCA offices surprised me of a fettuccine as a pre-birthday gift. A friend of mine also gave a gift for shopping but instead I converted it to cash and gave it to my sister as an additional amount for her tuition fee. (this made me feel better than shopping, though I'd like to shop)
These were just a start, later when I go home my mom would serve me her very own valenciana which I love. :-) and later soon my friends and I are going to celebrate still. I don't know what their plans yet but it will be another surprise just like what they did last year.
Then more kisses and greetings from my coteachers who loved me! hehehe
To sum it up, I am blessed! really blessed! And I am thankful to God for people He brought in my life. I missed Papa yet God made this day a meaningful one for me.
To end this, I recorded a video of my students as they entered inside the office singing a birthday song for me. :-)
Thank you Lord for these wonderful blessings!
